Ear trouble

After midnight last night, we woke up to what sounded like a helicopter in our bedroom. Whop, whop, whop, whop the sound got louder and more persistent and more annoying. Whop, whop, whop ... an airstrip in my bedroom. Whop, whop, whop... Argh! What is that???!!! Through half-opened eyes I see The Pest frantically shaking his head beating his ears back and forth so hard I felt the updraft and feared he'd lift off.

My sleep deprived mind whined "maybe if you rub his ears the torment will stop for all of us." I mutter a "come here buddy" and he ambles to the side of the bed to receive a firm thorough ear massage. His eyes close. My eyes close. We both relax assured that this will be the solution. He slid to the floor. I slid off to sleep. But only for a second, literally. Whop, whop, whop. Ok,time to advance to plan B.

I rolled out of bed, groggily tripped over an obstacle course of dogs in the dark, a total work-out just to get to our bathroom where I keep my dog medical arsenal. I pull out Cottonballs, Q-tips, bottle of ear-cleaner and with groggy determination I half whispered a sing-song two syllable "Pe-est". Pitifully he whopped his way to me and rolled over placing his head in my lap. The Pest closed his eyes and clenched his teeth with a "Go ahead, I'll be brave" expression and together we swished, and wiped and assaulted the unknown enemy. I was using two cottonballs at a time because the inside of his ear is so big. The last time only one cottonball came out.

Still asleep I think "hmmm that's not good". I felt in his ear, looked in his ear, nothing. Well, maybe I only used one that time? I'm only partially alert and after all it's now 1:00 a.m., I must have miscounted. But then The Pest stood up, his head cocked to one side with that ear drooped and that one eye scrunched closed. He was winding up for the big one. He shook his head, really shook it this time putting his whole body into it, and squeaking the floorboards beneath his feet. This shake had such force I thought the ear might actually come right off his head. But then gloriously, soundlessly, out popped the missing cottonball. The Pest looked at me seemingly as surprised as I was but his expression said "Missing something?"

When the cleaning was done, he got up off the floor and shook his head again and this time his ears went whap, whap, whap. Improvement. And after only a couple more whap, whaps, he settled down to sleep, and so could we. Crisis averted and all is well. Good night sweet helicopter head.